she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dignity is for republicans.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
