My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
please come you make the beer taste better
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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