Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
