I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
