He had one of those small greek statue penises
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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