Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I feel great
I just peed on a car
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
please come you make the beer taste better
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
