I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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