Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
