Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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