Well douche your snatch and let's go!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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