Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
