I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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