I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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