Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
