so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my being single is dangerous.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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