Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize