all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
