Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
