I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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