one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
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