after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
do herpes really smell.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
