okay pat passed out under dana's car
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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