Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
