somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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