As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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