Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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