So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
