White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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