Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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