Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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