He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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