Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
