I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
