you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
