i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
