Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
