Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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