He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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