just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
