He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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