The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Is Oprah even human
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
