It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
