ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
