i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
