It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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