I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
