Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
