im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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