i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
