so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
