i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
