I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
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