Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
