I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
