You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
