my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
