OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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