you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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