just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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