if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
